How to Know When to Say I Don’t

Welcome back everyone! Thank you for the feedback on the last post, if you missed it: here is the link: https://themomlineja.com/how-to-find-a-husband-in-2025/

As you can see from the title, today we will be discussing how to know when to say: No, I don’t want to marry you.

This is often a hard decision to make, so I have a lot of respect for those who were courageous enough to end their relationships. Especially the ones who were on their way to marriage.

The step we make to get married is a very important decision. It is a lifelong commitment open to children, thus affecting generations.

Some might think getting married might be the answer to existing problems in the relationship but the truth is, marriage doesn’t solve problems… it exposes them.

So let us look at three reasons to end a relationship:

1) You don’t feel at peace

2) Your partner is abusive (physically, emotionally, verbally or sexually.

3) You are being lead away from God

PEACE

There is this feeling I get when my husband is with me and that is… peace.

I feel at home.

I can be myself and not have to worry. This is not to say we don’t have disagreements at times but when there is a problem, it is us working together to come toward a solution (more on this in a future blog post).

If you are not feeling at peace, and you are experiencing that pit in your stomach. It is for good reason.

When things don’t feel right, the wise thing to do is not to ignore it. Despite whatever else going on. The truth is, he/she might not be doing anything wrong but it is just not the right fit.

Nothing is wrong with that, just remember it is easier to walk away now than after you’ve bonded your lives together through marriage and children.

Abuse

Whether emotional, verbal, physical or sexual, this is unacceptable and as such it should not be tolerated.

There is the idea that when marriage occurs, the other person will change. It simply doesn’t work that way. As difficult as it is, it is better to break it off now than later.

Lead away from God

Anyone who leads you away from God is a huge red flag simply because it takes three to get married ( you, your spouse and God).

Without God, the relationship has already failed.

Let us look at what being lead away from God looks like.

Someone who drinks to get drunk, does drugs, gambles heavily, does not want children, demands sex before marriage under the threat of ending the relationship and the list goes on….

Key is, if something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t and while I agree that persons can change.

We cannot change anyone.

That, is the work of the Holy Spirit.

Finally, I write this because I am tired of seeing broken families. Broken homes and broken children and the perpetuation of this cycle of brokenness of which I am a product.

It is by God’s grace that I am even married, so I thank the people he placed in my life who pointed out my many shortcomings.

So, it is my hope that you get my intention in this post, and that is to convey advice that will guide you on the right path to marriage, family and most importantly, Jesus Christ.